An Exercise in Building Sand Castles

Happy Friday Eve to all our coffee chuggers and tea sippers. Someday we will make an official poll and settle this tea vs. coffee debate permanently. Until that day we will continue to live by the “Why not both?” philosophy brought to us by that adorable girl in that commercial for that product I can’t remember right now.

This week I was discussing sand castles with a very dear friend, Mitch, after I felt like my life plan (my sand castle) was ruined in one message. I pointed out that we don’t build build sand castles thinking they will become houses we can live in. We know they are going to wash away, even if we didn’t believe our parents when they told us the first time. We build them just because. We take the moment to create art and have fun without worrying about the consequences.

Mitch poignantly said, “I have learned that sometimes you have to let go of what you once wanted to be able to get something better. Appreciate your sand castle for the joy it brings you today but don’t be afraid to let your castle of sand wash away when it’s time to build a house to live in.”

This meant more than he realized at the time, because ever since this verse has laid heavy on my heart. Matthew 7:24-7:27 ‘“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”’

I finally broke down two days ago and had myself a deep cry. My therapist called it guttural. Many people close to me have asked me what it was about, and honestly, it took me a while to figure it out. I felt completely out of control with my life. I felt like I was stuck in the same rut I’ve been in for a while.

Life is all about seasons. I am in a season of letting go. I feel like life is trying to teach me a hard lesson on not holding things too tightly. I am learning that letting go looks like losing things, making choices, ending relationships, and facing everything that makes you anxious in life all at once. I am a bit of a control freak and this month I have lost my job and a long term friendship (not Kristen, she’s forever).

I’ve been holding so tightly to so many things in my life, the good, the bad, and there has been bad aplenty. I take things people do very personally. Actually, I take most things personally. When life wants you to learn something, it gives you a ton of opportunities before it just hits you in the face over and over again till you get what’s going on.

I thought I was going to be stuck in this season indefinitely, not realizing that instead I am building my home brick by brick. Even as my seasons change, I am working on a foundation that can support me through them. I am starting to see these bricks in life. I went to an interview this week, and I got the job the very next day. Since then, things seem to be getting slowly better over time.

My mom gave me a piece of advice I have heard a million times over, “Things will work themselves out in time.” I want to modify that, because there is a core reason I don’t believe that. Things will work themselves out in time if you work too. Sometimes what you get is completely unexpected, better, or even just different. I am not in the same rut I was in a year ago. I haven’t been stuck in one rut for a while. I’ve been moving ever forward, and I hope you are too.

On my lips: treStique mini lip glaze

In my mug (pictured above): Sleepytime Extra

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